I had a good, long phone call. My friend graciously listened and offered input after I gave the rundown about everything on the amorphous Clash Clown. I confided about my anxiety and impatience to see it become something tangible and good. I went on about how I feel paralyzed when I think about the breadth and depth of work it'll take to craft it into something I feel proud of. Somewhere in that branch of tangent, I looked at all of it as a future failure, panned by my imaginary critics who hate everything I make. I said "what if it goes wrong."
And I was reminded that I'm not being fair to myself by giving so much credence to it going wrong, and almost none to the real possibility of "what if it goes right."
And yeah, duh. Of course! Why didn't I think of that?
Isn't that why I took this plunge in first place? Because of the optimism I've observed and been so affected by? Hello? Foolish clown?
Somebody somewhere wrote about how the good outcome isn't any less of a "realist" point of view to imagine onto than the bad outcome. The outcome hasn't happened yet. It could go right.
If anyone knows what I'm talking about (or enjoys reading this at all, ever), reach out, say hi, let me know.
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