I type my morning words and my daily blog post on a little laptop with little keys. I get slowed down by typos a lot, especially when I'm writing about the challenges I'm staring down like a big empty horizon of terrifying infinite possibility. Good morning.
I'm trying to simplify and name my challenges into something that seem conquerable, doable. I need it to be more inspiring and less daunting than "I need to create the circumstances that allow me to earn more money than I've ever earned in my lifetime, right now." But while we're on the subject, that would be a very good challenge to overcome.
I'm fighting back the anxious and the impatient parts of me that just want to quit thinking about it. One strategy is to remind myself of other, more constructive parts of me in play. There is patience, there is strength. There is calm, imaginative, generous. There's a part of me that says "this is easy." I don't know where that part is right now.
I'm typing and I'm typing and typing. I'm riding the rising and falling waves of self doubt and impatience and fear. I rise up and all of a sudden I'm grateful, I'm creative, I'm loving. I sink back down. I'm in deep shit, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do, what the fuck.
I'm back up. I'm listing all of my strengths, all of the clues that have allowed me to move forward and grow on the creative journey. I think about the response I get when I'm doing what I love. All of the coincidences and opportunities I've been given. I start thinking of people who have more faith in me and my work than I do. I am reminded of possibilities that have come to life when bring my thoughtful and genuine self to my work. I think about how much potential I see when I clear space for other creative people to show off what they've got. There are clues in everything I've always loved. In comedy and clowning, music and video, performing, collaborating, learning. All the good stuff.
I make one of my classic typos: werid. It's supposed to be "weird." Isn't it fun that I misspelled "weird" weirdly? ha ha.
I'm manically looking for an idea anywhere that will take me away from worrying about right now, so okay, I'll bite. What is "werid?" We rid. Then I'm off on a tangent of inspiring mumbo jumbo, doing my best to turn the typo into something more intentional.
Yes! We rid the world of negativity! We rid the world of useless fear and self loathing. We rid our minds of anxiety and hopelessness.
I looked up the definition of rid: to make someone or something free of (a troublesome or unwanted person or thing)
WeRid. We make freedom.
Like an 80s sci fi movie's deceptive megacorporation.
I don't know. This is just me reporting on my desperate reach for an idea that will rapidly, dramatically improve every aspect of my life, instantly. I'm sure a lot of beautiful creativity flows from this mindset.