top of page
  • rileysoloner

Learning Learning

Learning a new skill with self compassion: what a concept! I hated high school because I convinced myself I was an idiot. I convinced myself I was an idiot by equating not instantly understanding something new with never being able to grasp it.

I’m lucky I found and stuck with things that came easy. I didn’t know what was actually happening there. I would push through my not knowing when I was interested and engaged with the subject. I’m a good student when I want to show up for it. If I didn't see myself as smart enough to pick it up, I was apathetic. My mind was locked shut.

The most valuable learning experience as I’m studying is observing the evolution of my learning process. I don’t hate myself through every step of the process anymore. I can’t tell you how much more manageable the climb feels. I’m learning something more complicated than I thought I could handle. I still slip up, make errors and round back to process what doesn’t click right away. Gone is a sense of entitlement that would cast a shadow over every hiccup. “Should have gotten this the first time.” Even moments I could have celebrated unlocking an idea would be undercut with “finally. Why did that even take you so long.”

I think about how this learned unproductive behavior followed me into even into the subjects where I had passion. Frustration for exuding effort. I always felt I had a leg up in any comedy pursuit. I was fresh, openminded and eager. As I advanced, I would not allow myself the peace of mind that growth is painful and built on ups and downs. The whole ride could have been smoother if I loosened up and had some perspective.

It's going to be an intense summer of learning. I will have exercised this new self compassion in my learning a ton. This is helping calm my intimidation. I’m coming to understand my bully.

36 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Stop Hiding

As soon as the hiding stops, things get better. Or at least, new possibilities present themselves. Not writing has been a hiding tactic. I've been writing. I'm good at putting words down. After awhile

Why Take A Clown Class?

Hi. It's me, Riley Soloner! In January 2024, you have two different opportunities to play with me as I lead some clown classes at Brooklyn Comedy Collective. I'm excited! Saturday, January 6, 2024: I'

Unplug

Hello! This is me checking in to say: this is all I'm going to write today. And now, I will hit 'publish.' And then I will close my computer. Hopefully I can find something non-screen related today. A

Comments


bottom of page