Dive

The most important thing is to show up. Technically, this is me showing up for my daily blog. Taking fifteen minutes at 9:30pm to quickly post something and check the to-do item off my list. But really showing up is deeper than this.

Perhaps the new wrinkle in my practice that makes everything a little more special is finding a way to stretch my mind to keep in touch with the fact that on some level, writing and sharing words is sacred. I want to feel less flippant, expectant and unimpressed by this act of sharing. That isn’t to say I hope I can get to a place where I'm perpetually over impressed by my writing. Don’t let me kid myself.

Writing a little rushed because I waited all day. Now I'm writing while waiting for my TV show to start, rushing to finish. This is what treading water feels like. Flapping my feet in a puddle. I’ve felt the challenge and earned satisfaction of a deep emotional dive. But diving is a skill that must be practiced. I can't expect myself to reach the depths in these conditions. There’s concentration and technique that makes diving meaningful and possible. To make this practice sustainable, something I look forward to, there must be an aspirational direction to head towards. I wonder how I’ll identify that, let alone get there.